Canada has begun construction of a 3000 mile long wall on its southern border with the United States. The massive project will cost upwards of 250 billion dollars and take twenty years to build. And the United States is going to pay for it.
"Look, you guys are sending all your rapists and drug dealers here," said Canada, "so this wall is on your dime."
"Rapists and drug dealers?" said an outraged United States, "How dare you stereotype us so cruelly! You bunch of lily-white hockey puck-sucking Dudley Do-Rights!"
"We're not just building a wall to keep out your rapists and drug dealers," explained Canada, "we're also building a wall to keep out your bigots, bullies, murderers, tweakers, misogynists, white nationalists, deadbeats, gun nuts, wing nuts, whack jobs, nut jobs, mouth breathers, knuckle-draggers and pussy grabbers." The United States puffed out its chest. "You left out climate-change deniers."
The Great Wall of Canada will span from Vancouver to New Brunswick. It will be two hundred feet tall, and covered in greasy cheese curds and antlers. Canada will invoice the United States every month for construction costs.
"This is overkill!" exclaimed The United States. "We can't afford this shit!"
Canada scoffed at the United States' claim that it's too danged broke to pay for the wall. "We can't pay for your Great Wall of Canada," whined the United States, "the Mexicans never paid us for our wall to keep out their rapists and drug dealers."
"Boo-hoo," said Canada. "Why don't you just hire some illegals to help build it? You can underpay them, or better yet, don't pay them at all!" The United States paused sheepishly before replying, "We deported them all. We don't have any illegals left."
After some creative accounting, The United States finally devised a plan to pay for the wall. "We gut Medicare, slash Social Security, stop paving the roads, lay off the police, fire the firemen, close down the schools, hospitals, airports, national parks, power plants and the government. We'll have a $250 billion check for you by Friday."
"We only accept cash," said Canada. "And really? You're gutting Medicare?" The United States shrugged. "Sure, why not? They've got cheap dentists in Mexico."
